Sleep Training: What Worked for Us

What We Did and Why...

So, sleep training and sleep in general are touchy subject for parents.

• How much does your baby sleep?
• When?
• All night?
• How do you get them to sleep?
• Where do they sleep?
• Are you on a schedule?
• What do you do if they wake up?
• Etc.

Everyone has their own opinion about what works best for them and their baby, rightly so. Recently, Addi has been waking up at night. At first this was because she was sick but has continued on and has become a bad habit. She has woken up 2-5+ times per night in the past few weeks and this had to change. She was extremely grumpy when she didn't get sleep! I do believe that she needed to learn how to sleep again as well as get back to her routine. The biggest factor is getting her ready for the new baby. Waking up with one- doable. Two- not so much. Especially when one just can't find her binky. So, we decided to implement some sleep training techniques...

• Daytime routine- A solid napping and eating schedule that we try to stick to consistently
• Bedtime routine- We have a great one including bottle, bath, reading, rocking her until she falls asleep
• Delayed reaction time- After Addi has gone down for the night (not naps), when she cries we wait 5-7 minutes to respond to her
• Responding without holding- We reassure Addi in her crib. Talk to her, rub her back, sing to her, give her her blankie and binky to settle her down

Now, I need to stop here and explain. This is not "cry it out" or "let baby cry forever until they fall asleep". I don't think any parent has the heart for that. We are trying to delay our reaction times in every aspect of our lives because when baby #2 is here we simply will not be able to jump for every little thing. In delaying time, often Addi will soothe herself (find her binky, get comfortable, etc.) and go right back to sleep. Other times she needs help but that has all but disappeared as we went along.

• Night 1: Bed on time, woke up twice before we went to bed. The first time she really fought it but the time we spent in her room greatly diminished by the end of the night and she eventually soothed herself. Cry time: 10 minutes
• Night 2: Bed on time, woke up once before we went to bed. Woke up twice in the night- cried past the allotted time the first time and soothed herself the second time. Cry time: 5 minutes
• Night 3: My Birthday. Addi in her new room. Cried twice before we went to bed, needed us once and soothed herself the second. Woke up once in the night and soothed herself within a minute. Slept in 1+ hours. Bliss. Cry time: 7 minutes
• Night 4: A few random cries but no night waking and didn't need us at all. Also, 2 1/2 hour morning nap. I could get used to this. Cry time: 0 minutes
• Night 5: A few sporadic cries right after she went to bed but no night cries or waking. Woke up in a wonderful mood! Also went down for a nap while awake (also new). Amazing but didn't nap as good as hoped. Cry time: 0 minutes
• Night 6: Went to bed early, a few random whines at the start of the night but no waking or crying. Slept in 45 minutes! Cry time: 0 minutes
• Night 7: Went down for Daddy while she was awake. Not a peep all night. Perfection. Cry time: 0 minutes
• Weekly night time crying total: 22 minutes

Now, I understand some people may be critical of these decisions. For us, it was the right decision. We fervently believe in helping Addi to sleep through the night and to self soothe. Was it easy? No! I love snuggling my little girl. We also had family visiting for 3 nights of the week which can complicate schedules and sleep times. It is a time of transition and it looks like her morning nap will soon be a thing of the past. We continue to meet all of her needs- emotionally, physically, etc. and have a wonderful bond that no one can ever replace. This is not easy and we modified everything to fit Addi and our family as a whole. Before we began, we would go into Addi's room before and pick her up she would often fight us and not be interested in cuddle time. She would also work herself up if we left to her to cry too long. This is somewhere in between, custom made for her.

I know what my baby needs and for her, it is important to learn how to soothe herself when she wakes up in the middle of the night. A developmental milestone. It isn't like it wasn't something she was able to do before she was sick. Addi is a girl who needs her sleep and gets miserably overtired otherwise. She needs her binky less now and only cries for a few seconds before putting herself back to sleep. These are good things for all of us. But again, these are our reasons and it doesn't work for everyone. My one hope is that this helps to demystify "Sleep Training" and the often controversial "Cry it out" for those dealing with sleep issues! An honest look at how we chose to use it and how it worked for our family!

Little Addi sleeping

More information about sleep options... http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-the-basics_1505715.bc?showAll=true