Week #2

Week #2 is finished! Yay! A few hours ago I took my last birth control pill and it feels good to be finished one of the meds. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. So this week is just injections, which continue to just get better and better. Eric has a fast hand and I only bled once and got one bruise. I think that is quite an accomplishment (he's actually giving me one as I write).

We start a second injection next Saturday and this week we are just waiting for the next cycle to start. I can't believe it's only about 2 1/2 weeks until the retrieval and 3 weeks until the transfer if all goes well! Some days it feels like it is going fast and some days it feels like forever. Hopefully time will continue to pass quickly and with the least amount of pain and tears as possible.

The meds don't help in either or those areas. These are the noted side effects of my injection meds: "hot flashes and night sweats, and less frequently palpitations, syncope, and tachycardias. Other side effects include generalized pain, headaches, nausea/vomiting, fluid retention, weight gain, acne, hirsutism, joint pain, loss of sexual desire, depression, dizziness, and nervousness. There have been no deaths directly related to therapy with Lupron."

I think they add that last sentance as an after thought and really mean "that we know of"! I also edited that list for my audience, some of them are inappropriate to share and thankfully I haven't experienced them. All I know is that I cry at everything and once I start I can't stop. Eric has been such a good husband comforting me and not trying to fix things (a common male problem). At least I don't have all of the side effects or I would have even more to cry about! Thankfully my Mom came to visit this weekend and treated me to a weekend of pampering- going for massages, pedicures and lots of good food! What a blessing :)

To all of you: please, please, please forgive me- I am just not myself. I have no control over my emotions and I go back and forth from being hope and happy to crying unconsolably. I'm most certainly not my best and sometimes I feel like I am just surviving the next few weeks. I couldn't do it without all of your love and support and I really mean that. Sometimes people just say it but it really is a comfort to know that there are people all over the world thinking about us and praying for us. God may not have given us a baby yet but he has given us amazing friends and family for this journey to get there. Our road has never been easy but very blessed and we believe that there is something (someone) very special waiting for us at the end.

On hopeful days, Eric and I joke that his Dad is either playing with or whipping into shape our babies which is why they are still in heaven and not here with us. It started when Eric said "I think my Dad will be a farmer in heaven" and I said "Yes, he can grow all of the babies!" We're okay with our babies being with Dad and it makes us happy to picture them together.

For now, we have you all and of course our Baby Roo. She doesn't leave my side, I believe she knows how much my heart hurts sometimes and loves on me. She gets upset with Eric for giving me the shots and right now she's cuddling with me on the couch. I'm attaching her newest picture, her wearing my sweater, it's the most I laughed all week. Thank you again for all of the prayers and love. Prayer requests for this week: patience, less side effects from the meds and my body to be ready to start the new medication. Also, for Eric and I just not to be so sad and have more hopeful days. You all are in our thoughts and prayers.

Love,

Ashley & Eric