Why This Adoptee Is Tired of Hearing Your "Pro-Life" Rhetoric

Pro-Lifers,

It seems like this time of year brings out the Pro-Life initiatives in full force. As a Christian and an adoptee, I take notice as to what is being said but rarely jump into the conversation. I like to hear what people have to say about people like me, the unplanned and unwanted pregnancy. Everyone seems to have an answer. My weariness of this conversation is based on hypocrisy.

Many of the Christians I know wear their "Pro-Life" stance as a badge of honor. We defend the defenseless, we save the unborn, we promote life. This philosophical stance, I can agree with. After all, aren't I happy that my birth mother chose life? Adoption is toted as the acceptable alternative to abortion and I am the poster child for this choice. However, it is the hypocrisy that too often follows that blows the former to smithereens.

The conversation goes something like this:

Pro-Life Christian: "It is wonderful that you are adopted! I wish more people chose adoption instead of abortion!"

Me: "Have you ever considered adoption?"

Pro-Life Christian: "Of course (implied: all good Christians do)! But we really only want out own biological kids." (Replace the biological excuse with any one of these other options: it is too expensive, we wouldn't want an older child because they seem to have more problems, we don't want a child with special needs, we don't want a child of a different race, etc...")

I almost titled this post "Why This Adoptee is Calling You Out (insert possible expletive) on your "Pro-Life" Stance" but chose to tone it down a bit. At least in my title. I am incensed by this hypocritical thinking. "I want you- mother choosing abortion to value your child but I really don't find value in that child myself". Inherently, it is a direct insult to adoptees like me and my family.

I do not mince words. This type of thinking, all too prevalent is more dangerous than any Planned Parenthood clinic that draws picketers in droves."Pro-Life" and anti-adoption, or at the very least biologically biased in some way is a shameful representation of the gospel. Do not use my story as a way to justify your beliefs with no follow through.

I am grateful for a God who values adoption more these people do. When you reject adoption, your "Pro-Life" stance falls apart at the seams. How are you actually promoting life as your title says?

Some adopt, and man do I love me some adoptive families. I've been known to weep at adoption stories. Bless you all.  I get that adoption is a difficult choice. However, the numbers between who adopts and who is Pro-Life is grossly disproportionate. We do not have enough adoptive parents for these children.Now, not everyone is called to adopt. Aside from the adoption itself, how are "Pro-Lifers" actively supporting those who choose adoption, those facing unplanned pregnancies, supporting those who choose to parent, helping to prevent these issues, caring for orphans around the world? Prayer is certainly an answer that comes to mind but this is something to consider:

With Love,
An unplanned and unwanted until saved by Pro-Lifers who actually live what they believe adoptee