It has taken me a little while to write this letter. A few months ago I saw a post on Facebook written by what I refer to as a "hater". This is the jist of what was said...
"I hate when Stay-at-home Moms say that being a Mom is a full time job. I have 2 full time jobs- I work AND I'm a Mom."
Ugh! I was shaking for hours after I read this- I was so angry! This is a hater. Now, before I get into this I just want to say that this is a rare form of working Mom. One that can't appreciate what stay at home Moms do. I choose not to criticize other Moms. I also know (and LOVE) a ton of working Moms who either need to work or choose to work who don't criticize other Moms. I'm not a fan of women (especially Moms- shame on you!) tearing each other down. I just wanted to say that I really took these words to heart and have a few things to say in reply.
1st- All of us carry our children with us no matter where we are or what we are doing. We fall asleep thinking about them and wake up to them yelling "Mommy!!!" It is a responsibility we all signed up for. We all love our kids and being a Mom is a gift. That being said...
2nd- There are only 24 hours in a day, ladies. 3 shifts- home, work, sleep. No one works "more". Most of us get interrupted sleep. Then at home we have to cook, clean, love on our significant others, try to take care of ourselves etc. and work is what we do from 9-5pm. In case the haters out there haven't realized- research shows that children under 2 need undivided attention from their caregiver on an average of every 30 seconds. You think it's all soap operas and cooking for fun? Today I spent hours sitting on the floor of my bathroom potty training my daughter. Just to have her pee on my leather ottoman right after. I have family coming this weekend but the girls weren't feeling great so most things that needed to get done didn't. Sorry to burst your bubble, it is not all hugs, Eric Carle books and nursery rhymes. We all have stress, get over it.
3rd- Can we please just admit that there are some perks to having it either way? Sometimes I do have a day full of cuddles, no crying, calm, reading books and I catch a bit of time to do something I like to do. I get to be home, wear sweats, clean during the day (yay?) Every Mom who works also gets perks. These include- going to bathroom by themselves, you are given a break to eat, there is much less crying and screaming, you get to wear nice clothes without the fear of being vomited./pooped on, etc. There are personal pros and cons to both and the grass can always seem greener on the other side.
This is what I wrote back and I think it sums it up...
"Being a SAH Mom is a full time job and exactly equal to being a working Mom! Especially with more than one baby :) What's the difference if its your full time job or you pay for it to be someone else's? Someone has to feed, change, clean, entertain, etc the little one- you wouldn't call a 40 hour a week nanny "part time". You will be just be spending your time differently and getting paid! When you do what you love you can do anything :) Whether that is at home or not!"
Others agreed with me and the hater didn't write back. I'd like to give a little wake up call to those who have preconceived notions about SAH Moms. I am educated (Masters degree, thank you) and could be doing many other things. I choose to be a SAH Mom because I love what I do. I couldn't do it any other way. It is hard, it is messy, my bosses are demanding and sometimes I just look a hot mess. I get frustrated, confused, I have even cried. But, I wouldn't change a thing. When I talk about those dirty diapers and the mess my girls make, I'm not complaining. I'm laughing. I take pride and joy of caring for my children in the nitty-gritty ways and they give me joy, laughter and I learn from them every day.
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