My Adoption Story

I've shared before, on here, about being adopted haven't shared my family's story. We've had a lot of talks lately with the girls about adoption and that Mommy is adopted so it has been on our minds. I thought today is as good a day as any as November 4th is the day I officially joined my family. It is not my birthday but a second birthday of sorts. adoption works like that. Although I came home the previous February, the legal part took a little longer to work out.

Since my parents were married, they wanted to have a family but the old fashioned way wasn't in the cards for them. They became foster parents in hopes that one day the could adopt through the Department of Social Services as it was then known. They fostered many little ones but they did not result in adoption. The process was draining for them to care and love a child and know that it was only temporary but they kept at it. Prospects of private adoptions came and went with promises of babies that never existed at all or would never be put up for adoption.

Years passed. Countless prayers and tears. My parents were saving the money to start working with an adoption agency to begin an international or domestic adoption but something just didn't feel right. They decided to wait. When they would have started with the agency, a family member told my parents that they knew someone that wanted to give their baby up for adoption. The birth mother was in a bad relationship and a baby would keep her tied to the father, this was her one way out. She was too far along for an abortion and the baby would be here in a few months.

My parents gave the family member the information for their adoption lawyer who took care of the legal and medical end of things and it was time to wait. Other situations had fallen through. So many questions. Would the baby be healthy? Would the birth mother change her mind?

Weeks after the original due date, a  baby girl was born. That baby was me! My Dad says he knew I was a girl and didn't pick a boy's name since he was so sure. Luckily, he was right. I think a little boy named Ashley in the 1980's would have been picked on. Anyhow...

My parents were thrilled but cautious because the state required a 72 hour waiting period for birth families. I have a feeling it was a very long three days for them. The time was up on a Sunday so my parents stayed home from church to wait. They didn't have to wait too long and soon my lawyer showed up with me. My parents couldn't tell if I was in the car because when they looked out the window the front seat was empty. This was the 80's and babies sometimes rode in the front seat but not me, I was chauffeured.

I was home and my adoption was finalized 9 months later.

I don't know what it is like to grow up in a biological family, this is my norm but I can tell you that never once did I feel abandoned or unloved. I can't remember a time I didn't know I was adopted and my story was always told  to me as I was wanted and chosen. Adoption was described as God's answer to suffering and pain. God did not create the reasons we need adoption- infertility, abusive relationships, death- humanity did. God's grace and mercy gives us adoption, meets those needs.

That's what I remember today. That is what we celebrate.When I reminded my hubby of the date he said "Happy Adoption Day! If today didn't happen I wouldn't have you." And it is true. The life I have today started 28 years ago. I tell my parents that if given the chance, I would have chose them too. It is the truth. I would choose them. Over and over again, I would chose them and the life I was given. Mom & Dad, I thank you for not just my adoption but for celebrating it with me all of these years. I love you.